Confession

Brooke Varner's Guide to Ridding your Home of 8-legged Vermin

1. Fix eyes upon spider.
2. Squeal in fear.
3. Stare at said pest in disgust for at least 20 seconds out of principle.
4. Locate large, heavy book on bookshelf.
5. Throw or drop (depending on how close you can get yourself to the beast) on said pest.
6. Pray to God that your aim is right the first time.
7. If first shot was successful: Walk around book for the next 6 1/2 hours until the hubs returns home to get rid of the body.
8. If first shot is not successful: Try not to cus, take 3 deep breaths, regain composure and repeat steps 4 through 7. Consider getting a larger book.