Mother's Day
I was so humbled at church this morning.
Yesterday, our pastor asked me if there was a particular worship song that I liked as a mother. He said they were going to use it for something at church the next day. I told him that my favorite song was "In Christ Alone." The words are so rich and I always need to hear them.
This morning at church, they did indeed use the song. In fact, most of the morning was spent worshiping the Lord through songs that were meaningful to the mother's in the building. Every song also had the mother's name beside it so you would know which mother chose which song.
I was already in tears by the time we had sung the very first line of the very first chorus. Listening to the words in the context of knowing that it was special, meaningful, and even essential to that particular mother was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.
There are so many things that all mother's share: sleepless nights, interrupted hours, endless discipline, exhausted days. And those songs revealed the source of our strength, hope and determination in raising our children in the same love that the Lord has loved us with.
Also revealed in those songs was the other half of parenting: unspeakable joy, genuine laughter, the richness of seeing your child learn and grow and understand, experiencing a depth to love that you never knew before you became a mother. Those songs revealed those truths because we ourselves have experienced them in our own relationships with Christ through the way he has loved us.
We all have different needs and it was beautiful to see the need that each mother had. You could tell what it was by the song they had chosen. In the same song, you could also hear how the need was provided for by our ever-faithful, Lord Almighty.
I could hardly contain myself. In a small room of 40 or so, the embarrassed side of me wanted to leave. But my soul wanted to stay. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to sing more, even though it was the singing that made it so hard for me to hold back the tears.
Technically this is my second Mother's Day. Abilene was just over a month old last year. Last year was special but it was really more strange than anything else. Yes, I was a mother by definition but it was still so new - kinda like how it takes a while to realize you're actually married. This year it's different. I know. I know what it means to be a mother - not a mother of multiple children, not a mother of a teenager, not a mother of a child with special needs, I know what it means to know the things that all mother's know regardless of their situation: to truly love something more than you love yourself.
I wish I could say that about Brad but most days, if I'm honest, I'm selfish. In fact, even as a mother, I still struggle with being selfish. But there's something different about my love for Abilene and how it manifests itself in service and sacrifice throughout the day.
There are hours when I think I can't take one more minute. There are times when I have to pass the baton to Brad when he gets home. There are moments when I don't have all the answers and I so just want someone to push a magic button and have life work the way it's "supposed to." But, at the end of the day, when it's just me and Abilene, rocking her to sleep, I'm where I always want to be. Some nights I never want to leave that rocking chair. The moment is too good to leave.
Coincidentally, the last song they played this morning was "As the Deer." It's the song I remember my mom singing to me. I know, on the outside, it must have looked like I was going through something horrible considering how hard I was crying but my tears were from thanksgiving. Thankfulness for my own mother and her great love and sacrifice for me. Thankfulness for my great opportunity to love and sacrifice for Abilene. And thankfulness for Jesus and how, in his wisdom, he allows us to experience just a glimpse of his great love and sacrifice for all three of us by allowing us to be mothers (well, one day for Abilene).
No greater gift could have been given to me on this Mother's Day than what I was given this morning. I have no desire to ever go back to a day that existed before there was Abilene. I know too much more now. Too much more about what it means to deny oneself, too much more about love, too much more about Jesus.
That's what Mother's Day is about. So, to every mother out there, no matter if you're on day 1 or day 14,689, in my deepest sincerity:
Happy Mother's Day.
Yesterday, our pastor asked me if there was a particular worship song that I liked as a mother. He said they were going to use it for something at church the next day. I told him that my favorite song was "In Christ Alone." The words are so rich and I always need to hear them.
This morning at church, they did indeed use the song. In fact, most of the morning was spent worshiping the Lord through songs that were meaningful to the mother's in the building. Every song also had the mother's name beside it so you would know which mother chose which song.
I was already in tears by the time we had sung the very first line of the very first chorus. Listening to the words in the context of knowing that it was special, meaningful, and even essential to that particular mother was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.
There are so many things that all mother's share: sleepless nights, interrupted hours, endless discipline, exhausted days. And those songs revealed the source of our strength, hope and determination in raising our children in the same love that the Lord has loved us with.
Also revealed in those songs was the other half of parenting: unspeakable joy, genuine laughter, the richness of seeing your child learn and grow and understand, experiencing a depth to love that you never knew before you became a mother. Those songs revealed those truths because we ourselves have experienced them in our own relationships with Christ through the way he has loved us.
We all have different needs and it was beautiful to see the need that each mother had. You could tell what it was by the song they had chosen. In the same song, you could also hear how the need was provided for by our ever-faithful, Lord Almighty.
I could hardly contain myself. In a small room of 40 or so, the embarrassed side of me wanted to leave. But my soul wanted to stay. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to sing more, even though it was the singing that made it so hard for me to hold back the tears.
Technically this is my second Mother's Day. Abilene was just over a month old last year. Last year was special but it was really more strange than anything else. Yes, I was a mother by definition but it was still so new - kinda like how it takes a while to realize you're actually married. This year it's different. I know. I know what it means to be a mother - not a mother of multiple children, not a mother of a teenager, not a mother of a child with special needs, I know what it means to know the things that all mother's know regardless of their situation: to truly love something more than you love yourself.
I wish I could say that about Brad but most days, if I'm honest, I'm selfish. In fact, even as a mother, I still struggle with being selfish. But there's something different about my love for Abilene and how it manifests itself in service and sacrifice throughout the day.
There are hours when I think I can't take one more minute. There are times when I have to pass the baton to Brad when he gets home. There are moments when I don't have all the answers and I so just want someone to push a magic button and have life work the way it's "supposed to." But, at the end of the day, when it's just me and Abilene, rocking her to sleep, I'm where I always want to be. Some nights I never want to leave that rocking chair. The moment is too good to leave.
Coincidentally, the last song they played this morning was "As the Deer." It's the song I remember my mom singing to me. I know, on the outside, it must have looked like I was going through something horrible considering how hard I was crying but my tears were from thanksgiving. Thankfulness for my own mother and her great love and sacrifice for me. Thankfulness for my great opportunity to love and sacrifice for Abilene. And thankfulness for Jesus and how, in his wisdom, he allows us to experience just a glimpse of his great love and sacrifice for all three of us by allowing us to be mothers (well, one day for Abilene).
No greater gift could have been given to me on this Mother's Day than what I was given this morning. I have no desire to ever go back to a day that existed before there was Abilene. I know too much more now. Too much more about what it means to deny oneself, too much more about love, too much more about Jesus.
That's what Mother's Day is about. So, to every mother out there, no matter if you're on day 1 or day 14,689, in my deepest sincerity:
Happy Mother's Day.
Beautiful post, Brooke! Happy Mother's Day! <3
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Whit!
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