TRANSITION BEFORE THE TRANSITION

First, I have to start out by saying WE'RE LESS THAN $6,000 AWAY from raising 100% of the funds needed for our China adoption!!  WHAT!?!

Your gifts alongside the generosity of multiple grant foundations have blessed us beyond our imaginations.  We can hardly believe the number we're seeing: $31,696.  Absolutely.  Unreal.  If you want to help us close the last $6,000 gap, you can do that here.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

Second, I have to admit that I've been at my computer for two hours now avoiding writing this post.

How is that possible, you might wonder, considering how incredible the first few sentences of this post are?

It's because the reality of the life-change that is coming for our family is settling in and I know that between now and December we will need to make some changes in our lifestyle to accommodate the child that is to come.

Don't get me wrong, some of the changes I'm really excited about - like meeting and loving on this precious little one, setting five plates out at dinner, seeing teeny shoes around the house again, and watching Abilene and Andrew love on their new sibling.

Some of the changes I'm nervous about - like what the attachment process will be like, whether or not he or she will need physical, occupational, sensory or other therapies, or how in the world we will be able to communicate with two completely different languages in the house.

And some of the changes I'm sad about - like knowing Abi and Andrew will receive less attention from me (the same thing happened when I found out I was pregnant with Andrew) and, the biggest right now, knowing that what I do with Adirondack Peach will need to significantly change.

In praying and preparing for this next season, it's that last one that I'm currently processing the most.

We're in the transition before the transition.  And I so badly want to use it wisely.

I want to make sure that I love Abi and Andrew well in these last few months of only having two - to take advantage of the time and not let it slip away because I'm too busy.

I want to figure out ways to mimic all the milestones I celebrated with Abi and Andrew with this new child.  I've been staring at the infant photos on the wall and the kids' weekly photo albums of year one asking myself, "How can I make this child's first year just as special, just as significant so they can look at photo albums of themselves like Abi and Andrew can?"

I want to reorganize and shift and move, to physically prepare our home (potentially even babyproof again!) so that we're ready when he or she comes home.

Knowing the needs of this child will be very different from the needs of my biological kids, I want to prepare mentally; reading, learning and absorbing all that I can so that I can love this new little one with both compassion and knowledge.

I both want to be more present and need to be more present with my children now and after we come home from China...  and I know that means I need to step back from Adirondack Peach.

I've been processing the reality of that for about a week but exactly how I'm going to do it is still up in the air.  Adirondack Peach isn't going away, but it does need to look different.  Putting even the idea of it in a blog post, for whatever reason, made the truth of its necessity more concrete (hence avoiding putting my hands to the keyboard for two hours).

We're in the transition before the transition.

((Deep breath))

And it's going to be okay and it's going to be good.  I know that...

I'm just going to have to process it a little more.

Thanks for being in this with us,
Brooke