Nap Time
Right now is Abilene's nap time. I'm in her (now empty) room sitting in the only thing that's left - the rocker her Papu (that's "grandfather" in Greek) bought for her. Thanks Daddy, we use it every day.
Abilene's asleep on my chest, she has been for about half an hour. Most naps are like this: on my chest, in the rocker.
I know some people frown on that. Some people think I should put her in her crib (and I do sometimes). They think she's not learning to be independent on my chest, that she'll have attachment issues in the future. Maybe. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Some people are concerned about what I will do when the next baby arrives. Not sure. I'll worry about that when the time comes.
I guess I look at this time with Abilene differently. When I signed up to be a mom, I gave up my rights to "Brooke" time. Not in a weird, unhealthy way. Just in a "I'm a mother, now" way and being a mother looks real different than not being one.
Abilene sleeps longer and more deeply on my chest. I'm confident that it is because, even though she's sleeping, she knows exactly where she is - where she is is safe. It's comfortable. It's familiar. It's home. It's me. And that makes me more than just a mom. For Abilene I'm safe. I'm comfortable. I'm familiar. I'm home.
Do I plan on having Abilene nap on my chest until she's 13? No. Are we having another baby in July? Yes. Whether it's the coming of a new baby or simply the course of life, my days with Abilene on my chest are numbered and time doesn't slow down for any one. I don't consider Abilene's naps as unproductive time stuck in a rocker. I see them as time where I am forced to slow down. I revel in the beauty of my daughter. I revel in the privilege it is to be a mother. I read a book. I sing to her. Why in the world would I ever consider a load of laundry to be a higher priority than this? Nap time on Mommy's chest isn't just good for Abilene's soul, it's good for my soul.
No matter who you are or what stage of life you're in, I think we all long to be on someone's chest, in someone's arms, wrapped in someone's love. If you're a child, you look for it in your parents. If you're a wife, you look for it in your husband. If you're a Christian, you look for it in God. Even if you're not any of those things, you're looking for it somewhere. The question is: Are you finding it?
As a believer, I am constantly longing to be in Christ's arms. We're all longing for that safety, for that security, for that home. Jesus is never not there, our busyness or our stubbornness or our pride keeps us from being there.
Soon Abilene will be on her own in the world and she'll struggle to find time to be in Jesus' arms just like I do. But for now, I want to make sure she has every opportunity to know that peace, even as a tiny child.
It's like the story of the man walking along the sea, throwing back oysters (or something) that had washed up on shore. Someone asked him, "Why do you bother throwing a few back when there are still so many that will dry up and die?" The man picked another one up, tossed it back into the sea and said, "Because it means something to that one."
I hope that our son has just as many opportunities on my chest as Abilene will. Reality says he probably won't. But that doesn't mean I should cut my time with Abilene short or give up on trying to make time with my future son. Why? Because "it means something to that one". And if, right now, this is the most tangible way that I can love Abilene with the same tenderness that Jesus loves me, my butt will stay on this rocker for as long as she needs me to.
My time with Abilene is precious. My time with Jesus is precious. I don't think I will ever look back on this first year of motherhood and say, "Wow, if I could do it all over again, I'd spend less time in that rocker and more time in the kitchen." Having Abilene has changed my perspective on time. It's change my view of what I consider to be a "priority." And, I believe, all for the better. I hope that, when my children are all grown up and I can only hold them in a hug, that I have still have the mindset of being in a rocker, of considering people more important than productivity, of taking time to be with Jesus in His rocker.
Because time doesn't slow down for any one.
Abilene's asleep on my chest, she has been for about half an hour. Most naps are like this: on my chest, in the rocker.
 |
| 1 week old Abilene |
I know some people frown on that. Some people think I should put her in her crib (and I do sometimes). They think she's not learning to be independent on my chest, that she'll have attachment issues in the future. Maybe. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Some people are concerned about what I will do when the next baby arrives. Not sure. I'll worry about that when the time comes.
I guess I look at this time with Abilene differently. When I signed up to be a mom, I gave up my rights to "Brooke" time. Not in a weird, unhealthy way. Just in a "I'm a mother, now" way and being a mother looks real different than not being one.
 |
| Asleep on Daddy's chest. |
Abilene sleeps longer and more deeply on my chest. I'm confident that it is because, even though she's sleeping, she knows exactly where she is - where she is is safe. It's comfortable. It's familiar. It's home. It's me. And that makes me more than just a mom. For Abilene I'm safe. I'm comfortable. I'm familiar. I'm home.
Do I plan on having Abilene nap on my chest until she's 13? No. Are we having another baby in July? Yes. Whether it's the coming of a new baby or simply the course of life, my days with Abilene on my chest are numbered and time doesn't slow down for any one. I don't consider Abilene's naps as unproductive time stuck in a rocker. I see them as time where I am forced to slow down. I revel in the beauty of my daughter. I revel in the privilege it is to be a mother. I read a book. I sing to her. Why in the world would I ever consider a load of laundry to be a higher priority than this? Nap time on Mommy's chest isn't just good for Abilene's soul, it's good for my soul.
No matter who you are or what stage of life you're in, I think we all long to be on someone's chest, in someone's arms, wrapped in someone's love. If you're a child, you look for it in your parents. If you're a wife, you look for it in your husband. If you're a Christian, you look for it in God. Even if you're not any of those things, you're looking for it somewhere. The question is: Are you finding it?
 |
| Day 2 in the hospital. |
As a believer, I am constantly longing to be in Christ's arms. We're all longing for that safety, for that security, for that home. Jesus is never not there, our busyness or our stubbornness or our pride keeps us from being there.
Soon Abilene will be on her own in the world and she'll struggle to find time to be in Jesus' arms just like I do. But for now, I want to make sure she has every opportunity to know that peace, even as a tiny child.
It's like the story of the man walking along the sea, throwing back oysters (or something) that had washed up on shore. Someone asked him, "Why do you bother throwing a few back when there are still so many that will dry up and die?" The man picked another one up, tossed it back into the sea and said, "Because it means something to that one."
I hope that our son has just as many opportunities on my chest as Abilene will. Reality says he probably won't. But that doesn't mean I should cut my time with Abilene short or give up on trying to make time with my future son. Why? Because "it means something to that one". And if, right now, this is the most tangible way that I can love Abilene with the same tenderness that Jesus loves me, my butt will stay on this rocker for as long as she needs me to.
My time with Abilene is precious. My time with Jesus is precious. I don't think I will ever look back on this first year of motherhood and say, "Wow, if I could do it all over again, I'd spend less time in that rocker and more time in the kitchen." Having Abilene has changed my perspective on time. It's change my view of what I consider to be a "priority." And, I believe, all for the better. I hope that, when my children are all grown up and I can only hold them in a hug, that I have still have the mindset of being in a rocker, of considering people more important than productivity, of taking time to be with Jesus in His rocker.
Because time doesn't slow down for any one.
I like this one. Make me read it again if I am blessed with a child.
ReplyDeleteThanks Britty :) And, yes, I will force you to read my blog as often as I feel you need to if you are blessed with children. Actually, you'll probably have better advice than me.
DeleteThis was so beautiful
ReplyDelete