ARTICLE 5 & PRE-TRAVEL EMOTIONS

As scheduled, our Article 5 was picked up yesterday and we are one piece of paper away from packing our bags for China (aka, TA):

1-800 to NVC & DS-260: 1-2 weeks
NVC to Article 5: 2 weeks
Article 5 to TA: 1-3 weeks <-- We are here! 
TA to departure: 2 weeks

You would think that I would have plastered this all over the internet yesterday.  I mean, I did know the date that the Article 5 was scheduled to be picked up.  I could have had a blog post ready by the end of last week, just waiting for the Article 5 permission to click 'Publish'.  But I didn't... because, writing a blog post means we're getting closer and now that we're getting closer I'm starting to feel a little... scared.

I'm not really scared of the things that I know.  I'm excited about meeting Benjamin.  I know his name, his age, where he lives...  I know we're going to be a family of 5.  I know Abi and Andrew are going to have a little brother.  I know this is something God put on our hearts...

I'm scared of the things I don't know.  I don't know how to plan a trip to China.  I don't know what Benjamin's needs will really be.  I don't know how Abi and Andrew will truly react when they finally realize that this is permanent.  I don't know how to speak Chinese.  I have no idea how much travel will cost.  Good gracious, I don't know how to pack 'lightly' for a 2+ week trip halfway around the world for myself, much less for a child that I'm guessing is a size 2T...

I've watched the videos, read the books, asked 100,000 questions, taken endless pages of notes, kept a wicked-organized folder of everything we need (if I do say so myself)....

and after a literal year of preparation, I'm feeling like there is just so much I don't know.

And I feel a little selfish, really, being fearful.  How can I be fearful of two weeks in an unknown country when there's a little boy who's about to be pulled from everything he's ever known and taken to a different world for, well, forever?

C'mon, Brooke.  Get it together.

I have no idea what I'm doing... but I know the One who does know what to do.

I have no control over the future... but I know the One who's in control.

I am insufficient for the task ahead... but I know an all-sufficient God.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
- Psalm 16:7-8

Right now, I'm taking each day between now and travel approval (which could be Friday... could be three weeks from now...) one at a time.  Because that's all I can do.  And I'm asking the Lord - who promises to instruct me - to show me what to do, where to go, what questions to ask, how to prepare.

And the rest?  I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and lay at His feet.

One fear at a time....

It's getting real, people.  It's getting real.


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For those wondering where we're at in our fundraising efforts, we're at $36,891 of our $40,000 goal.  If you're interested in helping in a financial way, you can give to our GoFundMe page here.  💛💛💛