BENJAMIN, HERE WE COME!

We start our trip to China TODAY!  We're super excited - and nervous - but mostly excited!!  

Once we hop on our first flight, it'll just be a quick 23 1/2 hours until we're in Benjamin's city! 😂

Brad and I wouldn't necessarily call ourselves wild adventurists so this is a big trip for us.  We aren't even there yet and can already feel ourselves being stretched in ways we've never been stretched before.  While there are things I'm nervous about, I'm thankful for the opportunity to grow, alongside the opportunity to bring Benjamin home.

One of the biggest questions in my mind before leaving is whether or not we will try to post updates while on the trip.  I must confess that I still haven't quite figured out if we'll be doing that.  Internet access looks really different in China and I'm also one who tends to be overly concerned about how often my kids see me glued to a screen SO in-county updates are something that we will have to decide on after we get there.  If we find ourselves able to send quick updates, we will!  If not, we are excited to tell you all about it when we get back.  I promise to take lots of photos 💛💛💛

Speaking of getting back, we wanted to take a minute to talk about what life, after we return from China, might look like:

I know everyone is excited to meet Benjamin (and, glory, we are excited about that too)!  We can't wait to show him all the wonderful things about where we live and have him meet all the wonderful people who have been praying for him and supporting him for over a year. 

One thing that has been repeated to us from other adoptive parents over and over is that the most important thing in the beginning stages of adoption (much like with a newborn) is getting Benjamin to attach to Brad and I as his parents.  Right now, Benjamin is used to multiple people caring for him so there will be a learning curve in understanding what it looks like to have one mom and one dad that he can trust to provide for all of his needs.  If we receive help caring for Benjamin in too many areas, in the beginning, we will actually enforce the idea that his "family" is still just a collection of caregivers. 

The main way other adoptive families have sought to remedy this is to spend some time with just the immediate family and to make sure that the parents (Brad and I) are the only ones doing the primary caregiving (ie: picking up, holding, bathing, feeding, consoling, dressing, etc.).  We are getting a huge gift in this area because spring break starts right after we get home from China.  

That being said, depending on how Benjamin is doing, we may not be out and about around town right away (at least not all 5 of us).  We also may keep Benjamin really close and may not physically pass him around for a while to continue to emphasize this new idea of "family" to him.

We'll have a better idea of what Benjamin's needs are and how he's adjusting after a few weeks.  I've heard stories of adopted children showing little signs of grieving and quickly attaching to their new family like they were always a part of it, and I've heard stories of adopted children grieving for months and being completely disinterested in attaching to their new family whatsoever.  Obviously, we're praying for the former 😊 

Thanks for being flexible with us as we figure out what our new life will look like back in the States.  The best thing anyone can do to help after we get back is to just ask 😊  We'll let you know if we need help and how we could use the help.  Or, if you're wondering what's appropriate in terms of interacting with Benjamin, asking first will always be the best course of action.

We ADORE how gentle and considerate everyone is in our sweet, little town and know everyone will be so great with him.  We are so thankful we get to bring Benjamin home to the best little village in the Adirondacks 💛

We LOVE you all SO MUCH!!  And are so thankful for all the support you've given for over a year now.  I can't believe we're really doing this 😍

Can't wait to share Benjamin with everyone soon!

Much love,

Brooke (and Brad and Abi and Andrew)

p.s. There's an adoption documentary on Amazon Prime right now called Find Me that features the orphanage Benjamin is in!  If you have Amazon Prime, you can view it for free!  You'll be able to see the city Benjamin lives in (Xi'an), the orphanage Benjamin lives in (Xi'an Child Welfare Institution), and the room we will most likely first meet Benjamin in.  It was so helpful watching it and really helped soften my heart to the situation some Chinese parents are in when deciding whether or not they can keep their child.  Make sure you have tissues with you but it's well worth the watch!